Opening a New Doorway
A practice for finding agency when grief makes the world feel small
Grief can shrink the world. The places we used to go, the people we used to see, the small choices we used to make without thinking, all of it can start to feel like it belongs to someone else. To the person we were before.
Part of our work with clients is helping them notice where agency still lives. Not pushing them toward action. Just opening the possibility that choice is still available, even in small ways.
“When I was widowed at 44, one of the hardest things turned out to be Friday night. My husband used to bring me a glass of wine in my home office at five o’clock on the dot, and shortly after, we would talk about the weekend ahead. It was the gateway to my weekend, and when he died, I missed it more than I knew how to say.
I thought about what I could do to find a little agency. What I came up with was an email to friends and acquaintances I wanted to know better, telling them Friday nights were particularly difficult, and that if they had another seat at their table or wanted to go see a movie, I would appreciate being included. Several people took me up on it and soon I had a calendar full of Friday evenings with concerts, movies, dinners and more. A few months later, I realized that Friday nights weren’t so bad anymore.”
— Tamara Beachum, Creative Grief Educator
Kara Jones developed the tool below for clients who are ready to explore where their world has narrowed, and it works for practitioners doing our own grief work too.
